my life

I am born on 23rd August 1965. I am the eldest in the family.  I lost my mother when I was four and a half years old and I was made to survive on the footpath along with my two sisters who are younger to me ageing 1 yr old and 2 and a half yrs old respectively. After one year of my mother's death my father left Delhi towards South India for his remarriage. during the period he left over delhi and till the time he came back delhi after remarrying i.e 16 long days, myself along with my two sisters were locked up from outside without anybody to look after wherein i along with my two sisters were without food, without clothing and without any human support. when my father came back, he along with his second wife were stunned to see myself and my two sisters alive which made my second mother completely annoyed with my father conditioning that your 3 children will not be allowed to live with us in the house (servant quarter), driving us out of the house and made me and my two sisters live under the tree opposite to the main gate of the house on the roadside from 1970-79. from that time onwards, myself and my two sisters were made to survive without any clothing, food and shelter under the tree on the roadside outside the house. I was admitted in DTEA Senior Secondary School, Mandir Marg, New Delhi which is around two kilometers away from the residence/roadside of the footpath where I used to live along with my two sisters under a tree with a streetlight around.  I was forced by the adverse circumstances to do cobbler's job and loiter around the Connaught Place circle inside the green area of the circle by selling flower petals earning a very meagre amount not even meeting the requirement day-to-day food for myself and my two sisters.  I was left over only with a single time food in a day for survival and without any proper clothing, without any text books and notebooks required for a school going child.  I was given complimentary diaries by the school teachers which were used as text books and notebooks by copying  from the textbook of the schoolmate which were made available by the school teacher to me.  I used to sit during  the offhours after schooltime, i.e., late evening and night hours copying in the diaries given as a tool for copying from the original textbook given by the schoolmate for copying and handing over back to them after copying the same which I was using it as a textbook and notebook after copying it.  This routine was followed  for myself and my two sisters by me.  With the grace of Amma Bhagwan, i.e., my god, I brought up myself and my two sisters living under a tree for nine long years.  I was barefoot for these nine long years but during the period I never felt pity on myself as I was spiritually self motivated since my mother's death in a natural phenomena without any human support despite father and my second mother living nearby which is a very strange happening in the Brahmin community.  I am coming from a very orthodox south indian brahmin family. It is very astonishing to have such an experience in life that a man who is a Gurukul Brahmin known as spiritial guru in the society did not even care for his children after his first wife's death about his children.  What made my father made us to survive on the footpath during these nine long years is only known better to him or to his god.  I was given only a single pair of cloth as a school uniform for whole year and only a bowl of rice starch to consume in a day to me and two sisters. I used to serve in Madras Hotel in the year 1972 by grinding manually the wet  soaked rice with which I used to get onetime meals for my sisters which I used to feed them up. Madras Hotel is near Shivaji Stadium which was near to the place where I was living i.e. just backside of Jain Happy School and adjacent to Janta Book Depot, Gole Market.  In the evening hours after coming from the school I used to do cobbler's job in the inner cicle of Connaught Circus for over two hours daily.  I used to sell flower petals in the morning hours and in the evening hours both.  In the night after 8 pm I used to walk down with a barefoot carrying all along with two sisters to Wazirpur Industrial Area from the place where I used to live under a tree near gole market which is 14 kilometers distance which I used to travel through barefoot and reach the factory around 11 pm daily irrespective of the climate all along and I used to clean the stainless sheets taken out of the fire and the total roll used to be 90 meters.  I used to get four annas, i.e., 25 paise for cleaning one metre of the sheet removed from the fire. This work I used to do from 11 pm to 2.30 pm daily continuously for over nine long years.  Even during  ultimate adverse climatic conditions without any protections I was made to do all these work for myself and my two sisters survival for food, clothing, shelter and education.  Even 38 paise school fees monthly were not given by my parents for which I had to engage myself in doing cobbler's job and work in the factory to meet the expenses of day-to-day life for upcoming myself and my two sisters.  I used to knit leaves with the palm thin stick and create it as a clothing for myself and my two sisters for upper and lower body covers during the nine long years living under a tree.  With Ammabhagwan's grace I could complete my elementary education by successfully completing my secondary school examination (10+2) through CBSE Delhi along with my two sisters.  During those nine long years my sisters were never felt the loss of my mother as I was given the boldness and courage and passion in the absence of my mother to show to my sisters all love, affection and emotional presence in the physical living. I used to show my mother's love to my sisters giving all love and affection to the maximum extent.  I was at a bliss at that stage.  I never felt pity on myself as my perception from the age of six had been that what all is destined to happen will happen had been the ultimate belief and faith in god and with the perception that everything is by god and not by man or mankind I could live with conviction without any conflict or reasoning whatsoever.  After my successful completion of 10+2  examination conducted by CBSE my father shifted over the residence wherein myself along with my two sisters were taken back by second mother because of fear of society.  Since my sisters had been fast growing mentally, physically and psychologically the fear of reputation in the society made my father start showing affection outwardly to my sisters distracting the love from my sisters' heart towards me in particular.  My father used my sisters psychologically through black magic which made my sisters go away mentally which had hurt me very deeply in my heart till today for which I am not able to forgive my father.  But to be very frank I do not carry grudge over my father as is quite natural that nobody can change anybody only the creator of the universe can do so. None else other than god can change anybody.  This perception I am carrying with me till date which had put in proper stabilisation mentally.  I brought up my two sisters without any support from my father or from any person whatsoever and educated them till 10+2 examination.  But soon after that my father's black magic started working very deeply and my sisters started to go against me to the extent that my bringing up of my two sisters had become a question mark for them which is very deeply hurt by heart to me.  On date my two sisters hardly talk to me and they do not keep any touch with my family which is very painstaking and unforgettable materialistically.  Through my hard earnings I purchased an house along with my father for which I paid more than 50 per cent of the total cost of the house.  But when a person had deprived his children by not even providing basic needs for survival after his first wife's death cannot be expected of any positive phase.  When I was hardly 14 year old I paid around Rs. 22,500/- for the house which was costing around Rs.45,000/- in the year 1979.  I repaid that amount from the source from where I could explore this amount of Rs.22,500/- in seven long year through sincere hardwork day and night without any sleep.  That house is costing around 30 lakhs today in which my father along with his second's wife is enjoying life.  I was separated from my father in the year 1990 soon after  just one month of my marriage which was also done through black magic intentionally through initial planning along with my second mother so that I do not claim any property rights in the future.  My father's second wife is having one son who is at present living with him in that house which I purchased in the year 1979.  I was in a government service for over more than 25 years and took voluntary retirement recently few months back in the year 2010.  My wife is also a government employee serving for the past more than 22 years of continuous service till date.  In the year 2003 my father had a major heart attack which was conveyed by my second mother over telephone and I immediately rushed towards my father who was requiring medical aid for which around Rs.5,00,000/- was required for bypass surgery and implantation of the device as the replacement of heart valves.  The valves were more than 90 per cent not in  working  condition.   I was very much pressurised financially and was forced to take bank loans for over Rs.5,00,000/- within 15 days time as it was for my father's survival.  I went for it and got the money within the stipulated period and I could get my father's bypass surgery done in AIIMS Hospital in Delhi. This amount was reimburseable to my father's second son (step brother) who was born through his second wife but  he did not pay that amount to me which had put in severe debts driving me in the backstrip of my life along with my wife and my children who are in the tender age.  I am blessed with two daughters and one son respectively.  My stepbrother informed me that as soon as he gets the reimbursement amount from his office which had been spent by me for my father during his medical treatment at AIIMS he will repay back to me within six month period.  But on asking him he straightaway refused to give money back and also uttered in the presence of my father and his second wife that what is the proof that you had spent the amount for medical treatment of father as all the papers are under my custody.  So don't fool yourself just by telling people because nobody will believe you as you are already under severe debts.  Soon after that I met with a severe road accident which had made me bedridden for over nine months making my wife also be physically nursing me during that period.  During that period I was without any salary from my office as I was no leave to my leave account.  My wife  who is also employed also could not get any leave salary during nursing for me for nine months which had put me in severe financial debts.  I owed money all over from wherever I can explore from all corners.  Even I was forced to go to take loan on 10 per cent per month rate of interest which is for very high asking.  After that I went to the Cooperative Societies for taking loan from different thrift societies located at Delhi.  As I had become cross sureties for each other through a middlemen and I was the only lone Government Servant I was completely trapped by the situation and circumstances and was forced to give sureties.  Soon after that all the persons to whom all I have given sureties were absconding and legal actions were initiated against me by Registrar's Court by sending salary attachment orders in my office for the persons to whom I have given sureties which amounted to more than Rupees seven lakh over and above I had to pay the interest.  As all the salary attachment were executed by my parent office where I served for over 25 years all the officers went against me by executing the salary attachment without following service rules which made me very hard to survive along with my wife and my children.  I was not even left over the minimum amount for my family's maintenance by my office.  My office had been sending whole of my salary by leaving a meagre Rs.122/- out of the total net salary to be paid to me of Rs.22,000/- approximately.  Since then I could not get up financially and I was forced to take voluntary retirement, i.e. premature retirement by the actions of the government officials of my office and the adverse circumstances not even leaving minimum amount for my and my family's maintenance going against law and order and service conditions.  Even the post retirement benefits like gratuity, commutation of pension were directly paid to the Registrar's Court not even taking any consent from the legalities and service rules and regulations as per Constitution of India.  I was not even left any corner for prayer of justice to either government officials nor the legal court of law.  I am on date deprived of the fundamental right as per the Constitution of India which is very strange happening in the life of civilised and educated person like me.  My reputation was completely tarnished by all the government officials in the office, in the domestic front by parents and even all relatives to a greater extent as in today's society money plays a vital role for reputation in the society.  I served the government organisation in the capacity of Personal Secretary for over twenty five years and took voluntary retirement for the reason explained above.  I served in the Intelligence Bureau in spying field 26 years back, i.e., just before joining the government service of agriculture department in the year 1985.  I had successfully completed 2nd year of B.A. (Hons.) Economics but could not complete the third year due to my regular appointment in the government department.  Since then I could not continue my studies.  I am having the experience of secretarial management solely maintaining the administrative protocol with utmost honey and integrity with patriotic feeling.  I was attached with an officer of IAS Cadre for over more than six years recently before the premature retirement wherein my honesty and exposure of integrity had become because of which all the senior officers could not resist my honesty and transparency which had been hindrance to their working as they could not mint or bribe money in an illegal way which the officers had been carrying out for over more than three to four decades.  Even all the Union leaders including staff started agitating to the extent that a single person trying to make a revolutionary change for the sake of brevity and honey at the patriotic level of nationality should be driven out of the Central Office and should be shunted out and posted at such a place from where he could get no array of any hope for stopping their illegal activities.  Somehow all the officers inlcuding union leaders and officials could get success in targeting me over my weaknesses of my financial liabilities which everybody exposed and tarnished my official reputation by defaming me psychologically and also not following the service rules and regulations while executing the salary attachment orders received from the Registrar's Court for my sureties which are not my liabilities.  On date I am under a severe financial debt for over more than five lakhs which I had to pay to multinational bank, private financers and personal persons who are charging more than 10 per cent rate of interest over the principal amount per month basis which I could not pay them for the past more than two years who are hard pressing putting mental pressures and also some financers had put up in the court of law in the form of litigation for which I dont have any amount to pay to lawyers for hiring for litigation purposes. My god had kept my fingers crossed keeping me in the path of honesty despite adverse domestic circumstances. I In nutshell on date I did not receive any money after my voluntary retirement benefits except my pension after commutation.  I am on date without any job despite carrying a good profile.  I am ready to serve in the overseas if I get opportunity.  I am having experience of secretarial management, administrative management, all consultancy services and all liasioning work for over more than twenty five years.  If I get a reasonably good assignment/job/business opportunity I can come out of all these financial liabilities which can help me in maintaining my family and my children for their education and upbringing and meeting day-to-day expenses in a routine way.  On date I am starving for day-to-day expenses without any house, without any job and without any source of income. For the sake of Sri Amma Bhagwan If I am given an opportunity to a source of income suitable for my profile I shall be deeply thankful by heart and ever obliged.

Thank you Sri Amma Bhagwan

 R. Sundharesan
Mobile No. 09958620529